Let's Talk About Trying to Conceive

In this blog post we’ll be talking about the realities trying to conceive, and what it might feel like to navigate this. I’m aware this content may be triggering for some readers, so if it’s not for you - feel free to skip onto another one.

If you have made the decision to have a baby, it can be a shock and very distressing to find that you are not getting pregnant and you may experience some or all of what we’re about to discuss.

It becomes pretty hard to cope with relatives, friends and colleagues announcing their good news, swapping details of their pregnancies and births, sharing stories about their children and doing all the things that you hoped so much to be part of by now. Neither is it easy to deal with people asking you questions about whether you want to have children and it's possible to become quite isolated from the lives of friends and to avoid family gatherings.

You may be embarrassed to ask your GP about it, then once you find the courage to do so, it can be frightening if you are told you have a fertility problem, or it can be a relief if the GP says that the issue can easily be treated. One couple in six needs help to conceive, and it may be the woman who has the fertility problem or the man, or they may both have some degree of infertility - so it's not at all uncommon.

This is often the start of a journey in search of a successful treatment. For some it is a short journey and within months they have the joy of learning they are pregnant, but for others it can be long and difficult, involving fertility specialists or a referral to a fertility clinic. Don’t be surprised if you feel you are on a roller coaster of emotions as you wait for appointments, for more test results, for advice about the recommended treatment and to find out if it’s worked. People talk about the dread, the hope and the disappointment as well as a confusion of feelings – fear, anger, sadness, grief, increasing anxiety and sometimes guilt, so you will not be alone if it's like this for you.

If you’re in a relationship, it won’t be surprising if it’s affected in all sorts of ways by the stress of trying to have a family and needing treatment, because it’s like that for many couples. Ask yourself if your partner understands what you feel? Do you understand what they feel? Can you share this together and support each other? Are you having many more arguments and feeling miserable about it? Has your intimacy and sexual relationship changed? – It’s so understandable if it has.

If you’re not in a relationship and have planned to use a donor, it can be such a shock to learn that you have a fertility issue that makes your plans less straightforward and less certain to succeed. It can be a lonely experience to do this alone even when family and friends try to be supportive.

It’s crucial to acknowledge that the experience of trying to conceive is a personal and complicated matter. I delve further into how to cope with it in our blog post titled ‘Processing the Emotions of Fertility Treatment’, so be sure to head on over to this one next.

woman_reading_pregnancy_test

Let's Talk About Trying to Conceive

woman_reading_pregnancy_test

In this blog post we’ll be talking about the realities trying to conceive, and what it might feel like to navigate this. I’m aware this content may be triggering for some readers, so if it’s not for you - feel free to skip onto another one.

If you have made the decision to have a baby, it can be a shock and very distressing to find that you are not getting pregnant and you may experience some or all of what we’re about to discuss.

It becomes pretty hard to cope with relatives, friends and colleagues announcing their good news, swapping details of their pregnancies and births, sharing stories about their children and doing all the things that you hoped so much to be part of by now. Neither is it easy to deal with people asking you questions about whether you want to have children and it's possible to become quite isolated from the lives of friends and to avoid family gatherings.

You may be embarrassed to ask your GP about it, then once you find the courage to do so, it can be frightening if you are told you have a fertility problem, or it can be a relief if the GP says that the issue can easily be treated. One couple in six needs help to conceive, and it may be the woman who has the fertility problem or the man, or they may both have some degree of infertility - so it's not at all uncommon.

This is often the start of a journey in search of a successful treatment. For some it is a short journey and within months they have the joy of learning they are pregnant, but for others it can be long and difficult, involving fertility specialists or a referral to a fertility clinic. Don’t be surprised if you feel you are on a roller coaster of emotions as you wait for appointments, for more test results, for advice about the recommended treatment and to find out if it’s worked. People talk about the dread, the hope and the disappointment as well as a confusion of feelings – fear, anger, sadness, grief, increasing anxiety and sometimes guilt, so you will not be alone if it's like this for you.

If you’re in a relationship, it won’t be surprising if it’s affected in all sorts of ways by the stress of trying to have a family and needing treatment, because it’s like that for many couples. Ask yourself if your partner understands what you feel? Do you understand what they feel? Can you share this together and support each other? Are you having many more arguments and feeling miserable about it? Has your intimacy and sexual relationship changed? – It’s so understandable if it has.

If you’re not in a relationship and have planned to use a donor, it can be such a shock to learn that you have a fertility issue that makes your plans less straightforward and less certain to succeed. It can be a lonely experience to do this alone even when family and friends try to be supportive.

It’s crucial to acknowledge that the experience of trying to conceive is a personal and complicated matter. I delve further into how to cope with it in our blog post titled ‘Processing the Emotions of Fertility Treatment’, so be sure to head on over to this one next.